In the Darkness
by Heaven Is A Book Shop
Summary: They met in the darkness at the usual spot... "Amatis?" Amatis shivered at the familiar voice but stood with her back firmly to the source. "Please Amatis, look at me…" One-Shot


**A/N: So this is just one of those random pop-into-my-head stories. :) It's a scene between Amatis and Stephen, I chose this pairing because I love their story, even if it is heartbreakingly tragic. :( And I think Stephen loved Amatis more than he loved Celine. Anyway I hope you enjoy the story! :)  
**Disclaimer: All characters go to Cassandra Clare.

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**In the Darkness...**

**Amatis**

They met in the darkness at the usual spot. The Oak tree, marking the half-way point between the Graymark and Herondale mansions. But it was so much more than that; it marked the place of a first kiss, an engagement ring and too many tears.

Amatis Graymark had expected his letter on the first of the month, because it was always on the first of the month. Stephen Herondale was like that, everything organized and on time. However, Amatis hadn't expected the letter to be so short, it had simply asked to meet her at "the tree" and that he had to "tell her face to face". But that had begged the question, _tell me what?_ Amatis Graymark wasn't the kind of girl to hold onto hopes that Stephen and Celine had parted ways, that wasn't something that even happened in her dreams.

As the young woman approached the tree, her blue eyes searched for the familiar golden head of hair. After no sign of anyone being here, the shadowhunter's eyes rested on the tree. _This tree is cursed,_ she thought, _No good comes of me being here. Stephen Herondale has made a fool of me before and he's done it again._

"Amatis?"

Amatis shivered at the familiar voice but stood with her back firmly to the source.

"Please Amatis, look at me…"

Cautiously, Amatis turned around but her eyes were kept firmly on the ground. Over the past months she had sworn she'd gone mad, she didn't expect it unlikely that she was hearing voices. But gingerly her eyes lifted until she saw a pair of cobalt blue eyes. They whispered words that could never be spoken. _Hold me, kiss me, love me._

"H-Hello Stephen," Amatis' tried to smile but faltered.

It seemed that Stephen was, not that any Herondale would admit it, speechless. He wordless stepped forward until he was stood so close; too close for a married man to stand with a woman who was not his wife. With shaking hands he wound his fingers through Amatis' hair as her eyelids fluttered closed and her own fingers trembled as they ran up to rest on his chest.

"You're real, you're really here." He breathed.

Stephen gently kissed her temple; it was soft, as if he thought she was made of expensive china. This soft touch brought Amatis to her senses and she remembered the woman this man was married to. The woman who wasn't her. Amatis tried to push him away but she was too soft, she was always too soft on Stephen. She pushed harder.

"Amatis please–" Stephen cried out as she turned away.

"Who do you think you are Stephen Herondale? _I_ am not your wife. You should not be here. _I_ should not be here!" Amatis spat as she turned to face him once more; fat, angry tears slid down her face. In a more softer tone she murmured, "Don't you know who you are? Don't you know who I am?"

"Of course I know who you are Amatis, you are my wife."

"Ex-wife. I'm your ex-wife, Stephen." Amatis corrected. "You should remember, this is the place you found me after you–" She couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence; she felt they both would have preferred it left unfinished.

The oak tree had been where Stephen had found Amatis, that sunny afternoon curled up with a tear-stained face, after she had run out of their home. Sometimes she just wished he had run away in the night, it would have been better than telling her face to face and shattering both their hearts.

The silence that had fallen was broken by a crack of thunder as the storm neared the tree and the first of the rain started to fall. Stephen's melodic voice rang out through the drizzle, "Amatis…"

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**Stephen**

_I have to tell her, I can't do this anymore, I have to tell her._

"Amatis, I have to tell why I came…"

She looked up expectantly, her sapphire blue eyes blazing with a strange combination of hope, worry and confusion. And before he knew it, Stephen Herondale was falling for her all over again. The young shadowhunter felt an angel and a demon on his shoulders. _By the Angel, just kiss her,_ exclaimed the demon, while the angel whispered,_ Say it, do it now, or you'll regret it forever._ Trusting his angel, Stephen formed the words, the words that felt like poison in his mouth.

"Celine's pregnant." His voice was emotionless but he felt a deep pain in his heart.

Amatis just stared, astonished, "What?"

"A few months gone, it'll start to show in a few more." Stephen sniffed, tears filling his eyes, he always expected Amatis to be the mother his children, fate had clearly had a different plan, "Celine thinks it's going to be a little boy–"

"I can't hear this, please stop." Amatis covered her ears against his words as she let out a howl of pain as if she were being slaughtered by an Achaieral demon. At the sound of her pain, Stephen hooked his arms around her waist and pulled her into a bone crushing embrace. By this time the rain was at its heaviest and the storm was upon them. Stephen wasn't stupid he knew the most dangerous place to be was under the tree, he also knew he should be at home with his wife but the shaking woman in his arms was in no position to walk home.

Stephen Herondale knew the Graymark Estate like it was the back of his hand, he still remembered the summer he and Amatis had spent trying to find hiding places were their parents wouldn't find them. They had been reckless, they had been teenagers, and they had been in love.

The closest shelter was the deserted gamekeeper's cottage; it was tiny, consisting of only two rooms and an outside lavatory, a place for one man. But it had often been used by Stephen and Amatis as a place to spend hot summer nights when their parents were hunting or in Alicante. The only other person who knew of it was Luke, and he was too embarrassed to tell their parents of what they had been doing.

"Stephen…" whimpered Amatis, "Why are we here?"

"Shhh… There's a storm, I couldn't leave you outside" Stephen soothed her but sensed he should put her down. With much reluctance he helped her stand; her sodden shoes leaving puddles on the floor. The shadowhunter grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her shaking shoulders whilst she slipped of her drenched boots. Despite everything, Amatis laughed.

"We must looked like drowned rats." She declared with a smile, the prettiest smile Stephen had ever seen.

They suddenly realised how close they stood to each other, but neither seemed prepared to move away. In fact, Stephen moved forward, not that there was much space to move into. Amatis' breath was hot on his face and moved his curls so they tickled his face much like a tree's branches in a small breeze. For a fraction of a second, all was silent and all was still. Stephen's eyes fluttered closed as Amatis' hand caressed his cheek and her lips whispered his name.

The word had barely left her lips when he kissed her; it was a kiss full of longing and broken promises, a kiss that begged her forgiveness, it breathed _hold me, kiss me, love me_. Amatis' hands were in his hair while his hands held her waist, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around his waist. Stephen pressed them against the cold, stone, wall while Amatis fiddled with the buttons on his shirt until they were free and the shirt was left discarded on the floor. Just as Stephen deepened the kiss, Amatis pulled away, her blue eyes filled with revulsion for herself as her hands slid lifelessly down his bare chest.

"Put me down and get your shirt back on." Was all she said, her eyes staring at the rest of the room, never did her gaze touch his. Stephen placed her on the ground and slid his shirt back on whilst watching her walk in to the centre of the room, hand on her mouth.

"What have I done?" She whispered. Stephen knew Amatis well enough to know she would never forgive herself for this. As for Stephen, he wasn't sure what he should have been feeling. He should have felt guilty for kissing a woman who was not his wife but instead, he only felt guilty for making her hate herself in such a way.

"I'm sorry; I should have known kissing you would make you feel this way."

"You shouldn't have kissed me at all! You should feel guilty, Stephen, but you don't even care! Your pregnant wife is at home, probably wondering where you are, and you're here kissing _me_! I can't do this, Stephen, I feel like the _other_ woman, like I'm your piece on the side!"

"I know and I should feel guilty but do you know how guilty I feel when I kiss _Celine? _ I feel like I've betrayed you because all I do is think of you, Amatis! I love _you_, not her…"

Amatis turned her back to him and called over her shoulder, her voice thick with emotion and tears, "Just go!"

"I still love you, Amatis, I never stopped."

Amatis looked at him over her shoulder, eyes brimming with tears, "I know but – I can't do this. Stephen, I love you and I can't bare being without you, it's just – I can't be anything to you anymore. I spend my worthless, existence feeling like I'm going crazy, and seeing you just makes it worse. Now, you may not love Celine but she is still your friend and I know you don't want to hurt her. You're a good man, Stephen."

_If only she knew..._

Stephen thought about what Amatis had said about Celine being his friend, it was true she was barely an adult and starved of love from an early age. Celine, the mother of his child, she deserved at least a little of the love she had been deprived of, even if it would be nothing like his love for Amatis.

"Your existence is not worthless, Amatis, not to me."

Stephen turned to go, but there was a soft pressure on his arm just as he opened the door.

"Congratulations, Stephen, on the baby that is, you'll be an excellent father."

_I just hope he's a better man than me._ The thought slipped from nowhere through Stephen's mind. Amatis let go if his arm, but Stephen felt her eyes on his back as he left wordlessly through the doorway, his footsteps echoing in the darkness...

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**Thanks for reading! :D**


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